How to destroy your family’s namesake in four minutes and three seconds
The Adverts first sang about Bored Teenagers in the late ‘70’s. Today, Justin Bieber, a 15 year old that looks like he is 10, sings about looooooove in his song One Time. You should know that I am ready for his advice because I often look to pop music, and teenagers for opinions on life experience when I am not sitting around at home making fun of Brink’s Home security commercials.
Although it appears to me that Justin has not reached puberty, his music video features Usher. This either says a lot about Mr. Beiber, or very little about Usher. In his video, One Time, Bieber bounces around, points his finger, makes goofy faces, and “interacts” with the opposite sex at a house party for middle schoolers. This is a party that I would have never been invited to, and after watching this video, I now have a new appreciation of faith. [You may view the music video here]
It's a boy!
Because Justin sounds like a girl, dresses like a hipster, talks to Usher, and floats around on a skateboard, he has eliminated any possibility of obtaining credibility. But, this is ok, because I believe he has sold over 1 million albums. This means several things: First, it means that I have not a clue what I am talking about, and second, it simultaneously means that people enjoy superficial trash with a beat. You should be aware that the second point vitiates the former point, which means that I may be on to something.
Despite my cynicism, I think Beiber did it right. Following in the footsteps of teen-beat sex idol, Jonathan Taylor Thomas (JTT!), Beiber has and continues to build a name for himself, which one day he might actually have to rely upon. He will forever be known as the young woman that sold his soul for the sake of popularity. Tonight, Justin Bieber, we salute you.
