Snap, Crackle, and Popular Culture

“Like most fanatics, he didn’t enjoy religion, he suffered from it.” - Spike Milligan

 
Teaching your children metaphysics, monadology,existentialism, epistemology, communism, anarchism, abortion* and other advanced tenets of philosophy at an early age is important and Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who offers a fantastic mind-fuck for children of all ages that will accomplish all of this in less than two hours.This film comes complimentary with intense psychedelic colors and in some scenes includes an adorable, furry animal that seems out of touch with reality. In fact, other than for laugh purposes, there is no reason to include such a dumb animal- but who cares, because it was a hoot!
 

 In Horton, another not-so present message was the lingering notion of The Scopes Trial- the teaching of non orthodox thought in a public community. In this movie, Horton, an elephant, fends off an abusive kangaroo that likes to control what idea’s come in and out of her jungle in a cultish nightmare sorta-way. I was to use the word “cool” to describe it, but I am encouraged by my peers not to do so.

 Though the kangaroo is somewhat reminiscent of a bible thumper, put next to Horton, both create the perfect science versus religion dichotomy.
 
Creating a group of “free-thinkers” is a bad thing, and Horton will show your children how to ostracize people encouraging such. In fact, Horton demonstrates through cartoonography why it isimportant to think like the rest of the common folk. Actually, to be fair, it teaches against this, though I am concerned that children will only understand the first half of the point and miss the main idea. 
 

 
Actually, I don’t know what I am saying because this movie,as good as it was, is going to leave your vulnerable child thinking that thereare tiny people living in their own world, to be found in non-hygienic crevasse. This movie will explain life to your child, so you don’t have to. “Young Billy, if you think like the elephant in the movie, society will do the same to you that they do to the crazy conspiracy theorists mumbling on the sideof the road.” 

 Children are going to get trapped in the hall of mirrors, and soon find themselves in a coma. 
 
So, If your child suddenly awakes you at 6:30 a.m. on aSunday morning explaining that they have heard people talking, whom live between their teeth, don’t be alarmed, its probably just the effects of this Horton. On the other hand, if your child, is over the age of 20, and admits to such things, it is encouraged that he seeks professional help.
 
 
 

*According to recent critics and news articles,“a life is a life, no matter how small.”